This is what happens when I have the nerve to give a fuck.

_{This is a conversation between a now ex friend. He can go fucking burn and be miserable in his dysfunctional relationshit.}

_{Crow-Okay, well I have something for ya.}

_{Crow-Well Azreal said you can have me}

_{Crow-BUT you need to share or some shit, no sex between us only threesomes?}

_Me-...no.

_Crow-/:

_{Me-I am not fucking that thing.}

_{Crow-I know you were going to say that.}

_{Me-Then you should have fucking know better than to say such a thing. Azreal can go fuck itself for thinking I would agree to such a thing.}

_{Crow-Well, I sorry.}

_{Me-Yea, uhuh.}

_{Crow-I am.}

_{Me-Threesomes...how fucking dare you and that piece of shit.}

_{Crow-Another idea. Delete my number. I've obviously hurt you much with my stupidity. I thought well it will give you a shot to be with me cause I want you happy that's it. I know I'm just all over the place and I can't be cornered for shit and I told her that you wanted to be with me and that I can still talk to you and all...but that was her reaction and well, I tried.}

_{Me-...you really thought I would sleep with a person who tried to hop on a plane to see you without telling you. I don't get it. I can't figure you out! Why the fuck are you letting that thing run your life and how dare you tell that thing about me. I'm the one who has been there for you. I am the one who has listened to you rant about how Azreal is so plain in bed and boring. I was the one who comforted you when you needed it and yet I AM THE ONE WHO GETS TOSSED ASIDE. I can't believe you.}

_{Crow-I can't believe myself either.}

_{Me-You talk about not wanting to be put into a corner. You just allowed her to GUILT you into a corner.}

_{Crow-I know I know. I can't help it. I'm just so used to it. I'm a confused mess I know but like I said, just delete my number and just think about me anymore /: I don't like hurting you but it seems to be the only thing I'm good at.}

_{Me-No. You know what you're good at? Finding the easy way out.}

_{Crow-Is that so bad? Its nature.}

_{Me-Nature of the coward.}

_{Crow-And forever will I be.}

_{Me-...fuck you. Be fake happy and fucking miserable. Just. Fuck. You.}

_{Crow-Okay. Fuck me to the heavens and hells. Nice knowing you though.}

_Me-Whatever.

_{Crow-Just say what you want. I know there's more.}

_{Me-Go away and be miserable. Don't come to be when she spews her shit.}

_{Crow-I won't come to you at all. No more.}

_{Me-Oh, and tell your fucking mate if she even tries to get to me or get me deleted, she will know hell.}

_{Crow-I haven't told her anything else but that. Besides, why are you coming to me? We are not friends anymore aren't we?}

_{Me-Apparently not. Atleast I know now who really has the balls in your relationshit. Bye.}

_{I just LOVE how I get tossed aside for a genderbending fucker who tries to fucking kill herself over him and then has the nerve to lie about it. Have her family call his phone threatening him for what he did to her and then this bitch got the NERVE to try to hop her ass on a plane to try and see him but at the very last minute she grew common sense and decided not to because she knew she'd get deleted. I find it fucking funny that whenever people stop talking to him, he comes to me and rant and cries, but as soon as people give him attention, he thinks its all fucking good. I genuinely cared for him. I was there when no one else was and yet he chooses someone who guilt him into staying with him. I share NO ONE and I am not a whore to be shared around. That just showed me what type of dysfunctional relationshit they are in. I hope that whatever he decides in the end is whatever. I am done. Apparently everything that I try to do right get tossed in my fucking face. Let him stay in a marriage he hates and fucks many others on the side to full his  urge to be wanted, to have attention and to be loved. Its fucking pathetic that I tried to reach out and help only to get my help thrown back at me. Yea...lovely.}

My Tumblr.

http://my-world91.tumblr.com/

I reblog alot of crap all the time, and I need followers...FOLLOW! It'll be worth it 8D

More Hours + More Money / Less Time Spent Home=Broken Friendship?

Hey everyone. Now, I know its been awhile, and I know probably no one is gonna read this, but I just feel the need to get this out. I find this to be more sub-sequential than a youtube video. Probably if I had better hair and better equipment I would have voiced this to youtubers but I don't have money like that as of now. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. Since before the new year, I moved out of my apartment, into a home, and have been renting out the apartment since late December. Since then, my roommates have been just as such. I will not name them in his blog. I find that to be distasteful. The female roommate works at a shopping store for about 4-6 about 4-5 days a week. The man, who is also my landlord, recently just got a job at a store just about last week. Now, I won't go all the way back, but what I'm about to say is going to bring things, hopefully full circle.

We were supposed to have a barbecue today since it was hot as hell and figured it would be cool to do so. I had the day off and so did he. She had to work until four, which was fine. Up in my room, I took a nap and woke up about two hours later and came downstairs, to my dismay to see there was no soda. He informed me that she was now working until seven o'clock. Which was fine by me. My philosophy is that if you get the opportunity to get more hours, then hell, take it and run with it. Apparently, his way of thinking, along with a few beers, makes him think otherwise. Now, from what I can gather since voices travel, as soon as she got home, they were arguing, right off the back for, what I can concur, to be because she worked a little later. Now, the way I see it, what the hell does it matter? Two extra hours isn't a hinder and what makes it worse is the fact that they act as though they are dating, while he has a girlfriend. He treats her more like his girlfriend than his literate girlfriend. Anyway, I didn't hear alot but from what I gathered, there was alot of screaming, alot of name calling, throwing things and I think he hit her. I'm not entirely sure but I think he did. Now, its all silent, I hear doors being closed over and over and I'm practically afraid to go outside and say or do anything. And if to add insult to injury, I practically have nothing to eat. There is nothing in the house to eat since I am the one who buys majority of the food and I can't until later. So, digging at the bottom of the barrel, we're all stuck.

Now, when I said this would bring things full circle, I mean that, the arguing has been this way, the drinking has been this way, and everything else has been this way. I feel like a child who's scared out of her mind because the two adults are fighting like children. I don't know what to do and I don't say a word of anything. Whenever she cools down, or takes me to get something, she tells me what happens and I feel all the more worse. But, let me know what you think, if anyone reads this. I personally think, that, if it is going to continue like this, then just stop it. Because it can't really go up from here. It can only go down.

Our Cinderella Pact Verison 2!

Alright, as my friend said before, herself and I have made a pact to loose a certain amount of weight before the summer. Well, its the summer for me. I am now currently at 151. My goal weight is somewhere in the vicinity of 130 or 140. I want to loose all this necessary weight and look good. I don't light having the extra weight so I am going to loose it, which means diet and exercise. See you guys next week to see if I made any progress!

.-.

I don't have a comment for this. Hell, i don't have a blog for this. I just figured since I haven't been here, I'd write something, ya know, to show you guys that I'm still alive and well, and stressed =_= but eh, I guess I'll sing, la la la la la~ :D

Meet and play with "hot" girls over x-box live!...WHAT THE FUCK?!

>_> alright. This has gone on far enough! This has to be the one of the dumbest and most desperate things I've ever heard of and sadly[for my own research] witness. First, it started to with the online places to chat, like Myspace and Facebook, then it morphed to online dating, and now...NOW, its this. Apparently, there is a site out there that allows people to play with what they call "hot gamer girls" over the different kinds of consuls like X-box live. WHO THE HELL IS THIS DESPERATE?! ARE YOU SHITTING ME?! I mean seriously! What the hell happened to dating?! FUCKING DATING?! Meeting a person a library, in a restaurant or something like that, talking to them and getting to know them then going out. Has society become so shallow and vain about what people have to say about them, that they consult the internet, meet someone cyberly, speak with them there and see if they are the real deal before going to meet them in person?! DUDE! Alright, I can understand if you don't want to get your feelings hurt but still, why would you hide behind a computer and talk to someone before thinking they are the real deal?! It is just plain sad. However, I am a hypocrite, because I met my boyfriend, the love of my life, through myspace when I was in 10th grade. I never thought it would last this long, but unlike many others, we went straight from the internet and started talking. We didn't send information about ourselves back and forth UNTIL we started talking through the phone. It took us 5 YEARS to see eachother face to face, not 2 weeks, not a few months, 5 FUCKING YEARS because not only were were clear across the country, but we didn't let the internet tell us we were right for eachother. Alright, maybe I steered off topic for a second but it all serves a purpose. How low must someone be to meet apparently "Hot Girls" and play a game with them, that costs $8.25 for only 10 minutes. >_> Seriously, society is just disgusting. They are becoming nothing more than degrading pigs that believe that only beauty will succeed. This is why I hate celebrities. This is why I hate models. THIS IS WHY I HATE MOST WOMEN IN GENERAL! They let the media, television shows and things like that dictate what a woman should look like. How much she would weigh, what she would look like, how to act, what to wear, and the whole nine yards. They preach that being thin is the best and the healthiest thing in the world. What's the point of being thin and healthy if you have to kill yourself in order to do it? I honestly don't give a shit. It just saddens me that people say women must look like this in order to be accepted in society. I myself don't like myself nor the way I look and I blame society for this. Most african americans are overweight. Its sad and it scares the shit out of me because all I ever see on television are all these thin women who are preaching that being thin is the best and how they love to be thin and what not. It puts people's self esteem down. especially people like who hardly have any self esteem at all. Its just plain sad. So, seeing this website and what its saying just makes me sick to my stomach. Society will never change.

=_= Stupidity runs rampant nowadays

Alright. my friend, she's been dating this girl for awhile. They were fine until a few months ago. The girl started calling her shit, putting her down, hitting on her and shit like that, making my friend BEG her to stay with her whenever she said she was going to break up with her, and end up not doing it.

so...

she's complain to me and some friends about it and we all told her the same shit to leave her and move on. However, she keeps on saying that the girl doesn't mean or anything else. Pretty much, she's defending her to no end when she knew what her girlfriend was doing is wrong. What really got me pissed off was a myspace thing. The girl had read a message that she CLAIMS came from my friend when it didn't. Of course, she didn't believe her, she called her a liar a cheater when she did nothing wrong so...I finally blew my top called her and told her to leave her and delete her from everything else, but, as I thought she didn't do it and is still with her. What makes it even worse is that she knows we don't like the girlfriend and the girlfriend doesn't give a shit. She practically told her not to talk to us or anything. I fucking hate that girl. I want to go and beat her to a bloody fucking pulp. No one beats on my friends because of how they are. That girlfriend of hers has a god-like complex and needs to be fucking kicked off of. I would not HESITATE to kick her off from it, but, since she didn't listen to my advice, and clearly didn't give a shit about it, I can now care less. For all I care now, that girlfriend can beat her to a bloody mess and just leave her there. Don't come to me with your problems. Ask for my advice, and when I tell you the PLAIN truth, you just throw it away like it didn't matter because you don't want to be alone. Its saddening, and sickening. You rather be with someone that will eventually KILL you then leave and start anew. Really sad. I have nothing more to say.

she lost my respect